The Vending Machine Jesus, Two Nights of Sleep, and the Cry of the Forsaken
I woke up today at 7:57 AM to another "Cash wink"—a subtle message from the Lord to pause, be quiet, and remember what He has done for me and my son. I'll be honest: I am weak-minded sometimes. I need these little signs and nudges to reassure me that I'm on the right track. I've been taking screenshots every time I catch a palindrome on the clock, and I'm constantly amazed at how often the local osprey flies right by my porch exactly when I'm recording these audio blogs about Cash. God is in the details.
The biggest miracle right now is that I just got a second consecutive night of seven to eight hours of sleep. I didn't even earn it. Sure, I walked and did a half-hour of yoga, but I also ate chocolate and sweets and watched TV until 11:30 PM. God just gave me the grace of rest. We spent the evening watching The Case for Christ, and when Lee Strobel met with Dr. Gary Habermas, it blew my mind. Dr. Habermas was my philosophy and apologetics professor at Liberty University. I vividly remember Jeremy, the lead singer in my college rock band, respectfully challenging him in class, and Habermas leaning right into it. Seeing that story of redemption on screen—a stubborn skeptic trying to prove Jesus wrong and ultimately surrendering his life—was a profound reminder that there are absolutely no coincidences with God. Every step is ordained.
That same obedience to God's ordained steps is what drove me yesterday. People treat God like a transaction, so I asked AI to generate an image of Jesus as a vending machine. I posted it purely out of obedience to the Holy Spirit. Did it go viral? No. It actually seemed shadow-banned by Facebook. But my ways are not the Lord's ways. I don't post to go viral; I post for the one lost sheep who might see it and be challenged. God is aggressively changing my desires anyway. A year ago, I arrogantly thought I needed to be on the 36th floor of a downtown high-rise to be happy. Now, I am sitting here looking out at the Don CeSar and the most beautiful westerly view of the Gulf, plotting an RV trip across the country with Ceara. God knew what would bring me peace better than I did.
Today's SOAP
S - Scripture
Psalm 22:1 (NIV): "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish?"
Jeremiah 25:4 (NIV): "And though the LORD has sent all his servants the prophets to you again and again, you have not listened or paid any attention."
O - Observation
Today's reading plan covers Jeremiah chapters 23, 24, and 25, along with Psalms 22. Reading Jeremiah today, I kept thinking, He is repeating himself over and over. But that is exactly the point. How many times did God have to warn Israel and Judah that destruction was coming? He sent prophets "again and again" because human beings are stiff-necked and forgetful. Then, in Psalm 22, David cries out the exact words Jesus would later echo on the cross. It is the rawest expression of unimaginable grief and the exact agonizing question I have asked the Lord so many times since Cash's passing.
A - Application
I need God to repeat Himself. I need the repeated warnings of Jeremiah and the constant "Cash winks" because my flesh is so quick to drift. In the past, if I got a full night of sleep, I would skip my devotions and dive straight into the hustle. Not today. I have a massive webinar tomorrow with 50 or 60 people signed up, I have to build all the slides today, and my corporate taxes are due tomorrow with a brand-new accountant. The pressure is on. But I am leaving the webinar, the taxes, and the RV plans entirely in the Lord's hands. I will not ignore His warnings, and I will not let the hustle override my obedience. I will continue to give God what is His in both my money and my time.
P - Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank You for the incredible miracle of sleep and the beautiful, peaceful view of the Gulf this morning. Lord, forgive me for the times I have treated You like a vending machine and ignored Your repeated warnings. When the grief hits and I want to cry out that You have forsaken me, remind me of Your ultimate sovereignty. I surrender the webinar, the tax deadlines, and my future plans entirely to You. Keep my heart radically obedient to Your promptings, even when the world doesn't applaud. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Today's Challenge
Identify one specific area where God has been warning you or prompting you repeatedly, but you've been ignoring it because it doesn't make logical sense or yield immediate worldly results. Take one step of radical obedience today, completely abandoning the need for an audience or a reward.
