Rejoice in the Lord Always, and Again I Say, Rejoice
I woke up at 5:05 AM today, and if I am being completely honest, I have absolutely nothing in the tank. I am a wreck. Tomorrow marks exactly two years since my son was murdered. Today is September 29th—the last "normal" day I ever had. I sat in the early morning quiet and started going through the pictures and memories of what I was doing on this exact day in 2024, right before my life changed forever. As my mind traced the timeline forward to the horrific events that unfolded the next day, I hit a wall. I couldn't get past the thought of going into his bedroom. The suffocating weight of it broke me.
It is agonizing to exist in this space today. But as I opened my devotional, the Lord met me exactly where I am—in this prison of grief.
Today's SOAP
S - Scripture
Philippians 4:4 (NIV): "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"
Proverbs 4:23 (NIV): "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."
Ezekiel 7:11 (NIV): "Violence has arisen, a rod to punish the wicked."
O - Observation
When you are staring down the anniversary of your child's murder, a command to "rejoice" feels impossible. But today's devotional provided the exact context I needed: Paul did not write this verse from a beach house during a strong season of life. He wrote it while chained to a Roman guard in a dark prison cell, waiting to find out if he was going to be executed. Joy is not positive thinking or mustering up positive vibes. Paul found a joy that his circumstances had no power over, because it wasn't coming from his circumstances; it was coming from Christ. The word "always" includes the hard seasons, the uncertain seasons, and the seasons where you have every reason not to rejoice.
A - Application
I am in a dark prison cell of grief today. Looking at the memories of September 29, 2024, and knowing the violence that was about to arise the next day, strips me of any human ability to be "happy." But God is not asking me to be happy today. He is commanding me to anchor myself. If I don't anchor my joy in something that cannot be moved, I will not survive this week. Guarding my heart today doesn't mean pretending I'm not a wreck; it means refusing to let the enemy use this unbearable pain to sever my connection to the Lord. I am tired of my joy being held hostage by things I cannot control. Today, I will weep, I will grieve, but I will choose to anchor my soul in the eternal reality that Cash is safe with Jesus.
P - Prayer
God, I am broken today. The memories of the day before I lost my son are heavier than I can carry. I want the kind of joy Paul had—the kind that does not need good circumstances to survive. Hold me together as I walk through the torment of these next 48 hours. When the grief tries to pull me under, remind me that You are my anchor. I am choosing to rejoice in You today, not in my situation. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Today's Challenge:
There are days when survival is the only victory. If you are walking through an unbearably hard or uncertain season today, stop trying to muster up positive vibes. Instead, identify one unshakeable truth about God's character, write it down, and let that be the only thing you anchor your mind to as you simply put one foot in front of the other.
